Dinner invitation

It worked! A brazen act without much tact has worked it's charm without much harm! (I'm a poet, ect.) Yup, I have a dinner date, I suppose, and it fells good.
You reading this, my welly friends? Remember all those times I have said 'come on, go talk to them, what have you got to lose?' and you would reply 'My dignity' or 'The use of my limbs' or even 'control over my bladder'? Well, perhaps not the last one. But still, the lesson is there. We aren't getting any younger, (it's fun being 20 and saying that), and so we must become men of action.

In other news, I am going back to wellington tomorrow. I was supposed to be on the bus right now, but my grandmother invited me to dinner, so I postponed my return. I will proably be chowing down on some sort of a roast tonight. Or perhaps even fresh fish. The best thing about dining with my grandparents, however, is that they know wine. They have a wine cellor. It is in their closet. But the wine they serve is always suited to the meal and beautiful. So very very good wine.

So I go on the bus tommorow.

Valentines idea of a joke.

So today my money arrived into my account. Unfortunately, because of a promise I made to whatever, I then had to send a Valentine to someone.
This may not seem like a very logical sequence of events, but I am sure that you know realise that life doesn't have to be very logical.
This is the first Valentine I have sent. To someone I am not in a relationship with. The fun of it all. Thank you study link, for only getting yourself into action when there is probable chance for my own public humiliation. This, I think, is further proof that studylink is run by Satan or perhaps even Hitler.
But it is better to have tried and failed, ect. What is the worst that could happen?

A can of mace to my face, I suppose.

Thank you studylink!

"What is that? My money will be in my account two weeks before the start of my course? Because I really need that money. If there is any doubt that the money wont be there, please tell me and I will make other arragements. No? It will be there? Good, because, as I have expressed, I really really need that money. On monday. Yup. Thank you."

Yes, thank you study link, for being complete and utter wankers. Monday is today, but alas, my money is not here. The money that I need to buy my mothers birthday present. The money I need to pay my rent. The money better get here really, really soon.

So, that's my monday well and truly fucked.

In other news, I believe I am sweating the alcohol I have consumed in the last week from my pores at night. My god was list night a sweaty, sticky experiance. Sticky and smelly. I don't think I have ever sweated so much in my life. You can stop reading now if you want. Because sweat is yuck.

The fun is inside me. Or will be. Once I get my money.

Between the sheets

Last night I went to a 21st. It was a costume party, and I wnt as a Roman senator thing. Hah! Thats where the sheet referance came in! You thought it was going t obe much more exciting, didn't you?
Well, It was quite a good night. The person whose 21st it was is actually an ex-girlfriend of mine from probably five years ago now, so I must confess that I was a little sceptial of things. I didn't wan't to be hanging around like the skeleton out of his closet, a pink elephant eating all the food. But All was well. We share alot of mutual friends, many of whom came to the C.H.B. especially for this party, and a good time was had by all meeting and reminising about the ole times and catching up, epecially as some of us haddn't seen each other for over two years.
Usually reminising makes me quite depressed, but the special thing about last night was that this didn't happen. Before we went our seperate ways I spent mostly all of my first and a good amout of my second form years with these people, and hearing about all the good times an dactually having stimulus for me to recall the good times was very interesting. My memory is shot, badly, so remembering anything in any detail from a specific period in my life was kind of like being more complete than often.
My internal editor is telling me that I am not making much sense, but I don't care. It was a strange and nice experiance.

So have fun for the next whenever, thanks for the party and I wish you all the best.

The green fairies

HOLY SHIT!! It is the way to explain last night. There was a bottle of cheap wine, of my own bringing, a bottle of zambuca. And the ,there was a bottle of absinthe. Holy holy shit. I drank half the bottle. I am very very drunk. Right now I am drunk. For fourty five dollars a bottle of 72% booze is a very good purchace.

You can tell that absinthe is not a normal drink after you have your first glass. We were cutting it with water, three parts water for ever part absinthe, but three minutes after I had finished my first half glass (It tases like liquorice and is very easy to drink) I felt it's effects. I am not, as you may have realised, and easy drunk. So I then decided to hide it under a willy wonka hat in a bedroom.

The most fun was buying the stuff. I went into the local liqour store and found the stuff, and then aproached the counter.
"Hey there, (Name Suppresed). I haven't seen you in a long time." Luckily I knew the person who was working at the counter.
"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while." The person at the counter didn't know who I was.
"Can Isplit the payment for this?" I said, handing over the bottle of green death.
She said "Sure. What are you studying in welly?"
I Said, as I reached behind me for the eftpos card of the underage person that was supling half the money for the absinthe, 'I am going to be a teacher."
She said "thats cool". Her eyes said, you are blatantly supplying pubesants with a substance that is banned in most countries. This is a fucked up situation.

I said, 'Yes, yes it is." Thanked her and walked out.

Party central hawkes bay

Well, what do you know it, but I have only been back in waipukurau on night and already I have been invited to TWO parties. This isn't too uncommon in welly, but in waipuk this is a new world record. Also, Waipukurau has the added bonus of being a hell of a lot smaller than welly so the walking is less. Less walking equals more drunk. But then again, waipuk has more stabbings. And 'P'. We are the 'P' capital of NZ, apparently.

Anyway, 'P' aside, me and my good freind Mr. $9 bottle of wine are going to meet up with a few old school mates. One still lives here because he is not old enough to leave, but the other has left, and gone to Auckland. AHAHAHA!

Times should be fun and the drink should be plentiful, I shall be intoxicated and the couch will be lumpy. Story of my life, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

AUCKLAND! AHAHAHAHA!

The bus sucks donkey

I hate the bus.

I had no music to listen to on the bus.

I had no book to read on the bus.

I had to listen to a man make racial slurs on the bus.

And talk about politics.

I hate the bus.

In the wai-puk-of-A.

Today I go back to Waipukurau, hometown and place of sweet boredom.
Why you ask? Why go to your one streeted hometown where that one street is lined with incoherant bumbs who never got out of waipuk and plus they all smell like poos? Why go back to Waipuk when the Fringe festival, the festival packed with the theartre and even some free stuff, is about to start?

Because of my endless ANGST!

Oh, I be the angsty right now. I hate wellington. I hate hills. I hate wind. I hate my flat. Yesterday, My flatmate saw that I had left a gum wrapper on the carpet. A little gum rapper. That she could have picked up and put in the bin. But no, she left it there for a day. To see if I would put it in the bin. I didn't. Because I didn't see it. And I didn't se it because it was partially covered by a rug. And it was a gum wrapper. A very, very small gum wrapper.
This might not seem like a big deal to most people, but I have just moved out of a flat where we once spent three weeks living in our own filth because we were too drunk to care. I enjoy being too drunk to care. Looking over my own shoulder and critising everything I do annoys the fuck out of me. I need FREEDOM! LET ME BE FREE!

so I am going back to waipuk so that I get bored shitless and when I return everything will be hunky-dory. Also, I should have some money by then. And an 18+ card.

Also, It be my mothers birthday soon.

What am I doing?

I woke up at three am last night after an interesting dream based loosely on 'Catch 22'. It was about one Major's quest to find out why everything was so very strange.
Then I stayed awake. I have been awake for 6 hours, and have read a novel. What have you done with your day, huh?
I went to have coffee at a cafe yesterday and it was strangely depressing. I had people to talk to, and lively disscussions to follow instead of mindless and unimportaint small talk. But I think it was because my latte was served in a glass. God invented mugs for a reason. So that my fingers would not get burnt while drinking my caffenated beverage. Why don't people listen to god anymore?
So today I am doing nothing. Might check out sjs and see if they have any jobs going. Might go back to be.

How much might could a might hound hoof?

Holy holy holy

BOOZE!
I have had the equivalent of 9 bottles of wine in the past week! Considering the fact that I was only drinking for three nights, I am rather impressed.
I played alot of limbo. Now my back hurts. And twister. Now everything hurts. And Circle of death. My Innards hurt. And 'shot races'. My innards hurt more. And 'Eat the half a cabbage'. That also affected me. Badly.

Anyway, now I am free for two weeks! More drinking abound! When I get money, of course.

...And stuff I did do.

Boy howdy have I spent alot of money. But it has all been on good, helpful and educational things.
Right then. so I bought Tekken 5 and the Fooly Cooly box set, Two bottles of wine and brunch at B4. So really I am quite pleased with my effort. No hookers.
But anyway, now to rant about my new purchases!

Tekken 5 - it has been about half a year since I rented this game and unlcked all the characters, so I thought, what the hey, I'll delete my save, leave the round count on two instead of one (customary to beat things quick) and up the difficulty level. I had, obviously, forgotten about one or two things.
a) This game is a but load faster than Tekken 4. It's almost as bad as playing 'Marvel vs. Capcom'. If you are new to this game, GO TO PRACTICE MODE FIRST! Otherwise you will be pummelled into oblivion in the first round.
b) Jinpachi is a cheating fuck. I had forgotten that the boss of tekken 5 can kill you in ONE MOVE. And if you have to beat him twice in a row it makes it that much harder. Half his move set is unblockable too.
But apart from that, Tekken 5 rules. Better grapics, better movement, and you can customize characters costumes.

Fooly Cooly - The anime seris in which a young boy gets hit in the head with a bass guitar. Then robots come out of him. Not fun for all the family, there are some parts in which this seris gets completly fubbed. Fubbed to the power of ten. But it be the fun.

What else be happening to me? I have a dinner to go to tonight. My creative writing course is so very close to being finished, so all in the class are going out for a nice dinner together, then out for drinks. i like drinks, I like them alot.

Only 7 hours to impale until then.

So that is it, I suppose.

I am single.
It's been a long time comming folks. Three years, or there abouts. But now there is no other half for Flan.
I am the half eaten pudding in the cheese conpartment of my soul.
That is proably the biggest news that I will ever have for a little while. It will proably take a little while for the news to sink in. I don't know what single people do anymore. It was easy when I was attached, all I had to do was sit in my room and resist earthly temptations. But now...
Well, at least i got $500 today. When I say 'got', I mean 'extended my overdraft by'. But it's not going to stop me spending it on cask wine. No siree.

Off to do stuff to things.

Grey skies

Back I am at the university. The sky is grey by no rain is falling. Wind whistles though hornbeam trees like a summer coloured sigh...

*Ahem*

Egad! I do not have any I.D. I haven't for about a year. But it seems to be only now that I can no longer purchase alcohol, open bank accounts, prove my identity or find my house key. It is at times like these I beleive in God again. Haha God, very funny indeed.
see, it is only 10am, and yet I have failed in all my endevours this morning AND the intranet has crashed on me four times. well, no one has noticed that I havent been charged for any usage yet, so we will just keep that to ourselves.

I have to do writing stuff, but I don't think my brain is consice enough yet. ll the bunnies is what I see.

Faithful minions

I don't have a computer. So I had to wait untill uni was open before I could post blog. Blog. Yup.

I have been up to much stuff since we last came together my freinds. I am, for the beginning, no longer sleeping on the floor of any room. I am now sleeping on a matress, on a bed base. You would think this would make me happy, but I am filled with annoyance. The bed is hard, and to small for my muscle bound bulk. The matress it too short and my legs fall out the bottom and on the sides. And my pillow is lumpy.
I do have my own room now, complete with guitar and comfy chair, wardrobe that I do not have to sleep in and my playstation. I played a game of Tekken 4 to see if I was still the OMG p0wn4g3 m45t3r and I was, so that was boring.
Again, I have no money.
On friday I got really really drunk and walked through a scary park to fall asleap on a couch. The party was in brooklin. If you do not know about the wellington aera, then all you need to know is this: Brookin is uphill. It is uphill from everywhere. It is a mountain, and my freinds live on top of it. I stole their cutlery.

I have finished me (hopefully) final draft of me first story for my folio that is to be handed in friday. Now all I have to do is type it up.

Or, of couse, I could procrastinate more.

The five steps of lonley

Woo, me some good yes! Yesterday was the most hellishly boring experiance I have had in quite some time. (I am writing about yesterdays for now because I am sleeping in the living room and my flatmate gets up at 7am. Good ole 7am. 7am is proof that god was on crack.) I did not much. I was supposed to be re-editing me writen things for a folio, but instead I sat and looked at the wall and cronicled my process of being lonley.

There are five steps that everyone passes through when they have nothing to do:
Step one: Boredom. If you weren't sleeping on the lounge floor you would go back to bed.
Step two: Depression. It is raining outside and you start to list all your freinds that you cannot be bothered visiting.
Step Three: Agitation. You pace around the room and lip sync muted informercials.
Step Four: Crazy. You go outside in the rain that is comming in sideways and buy a subway footlong.
Step Five: Coffee. You medicate yourself with caffeen untill someone arrives or you die.

And that was my day. I did watch Enter the Dragon and another movie called 'Versus', where an escaped convict finds himself in a forrest where the dead turn into Zombies. It was really just an excuse for blood and brain bits, but it made me laugh lots and good. Those crazy Japanese.

Of to eat rice and peas - nature's excuse for sustinance.

Living off of flooring

I HAVE MOVED!
At the last minute I decided it was going to be easyier to move into an already establised flat rather than suffer anymore indignity at the hands of the 'we screw you for money' realting agecies. Unfortunately, the rent here is a little steeper than I had hoped ($35 dollars a week more expensive, actually... that is seven bottles of 'passion pop' a week!) but it is right intownand next to the uni and it means that I didn't have to move a desk that is begger than my bed. Two thumbs up!

Now I have fnished class as well, which means I have three glorious weeks of nothing to do inside. This is the first time in a year that I will be able to relax without the guilt of the work I am not doing. So me and my metric ton of coffee are going to stay indoors and watch bruce lee movies and read lots. Lots and lots and lots.

And now that I found out how to use this computer, I will once again be able to terriorize the internal netted comunity with my drunken ramblings! Won't that be fun?

festival of expletives

God [buzz] [buzz] [buzz] and [buzz] [buzz]ing [buzz] flat finding!

It is that time of the year! I will have no where to live next monday, and if I do find a residence, I have no way to get my things there!
Add to the delightful mix of beauty and happiness hugs the fact that I have no money and no booze. Over the next seven days i have to pack my life into boxes, find a house, and unpack it all again. all while studing. some things are going to get very crumpled.

And in case you didn't know, flat hunting is the most rewarding thing in the world.
'oh, you took an hour out of your day to find walk across town, find this place and walk up the seventy stairs to see me? Im sorry, the flat was let two weeks ago. Why did I leave the noticew in the paper then? Well, I guess it is because I AM SATAN INCARNATE!'

Then the realter breathes fire on you and pushes you down the stairs.

Time waits for booze

Ah, my freinds. I can always rely on them to, when I am supposed to be working, drag me out of the house and force me to spend a night in drunken revelry the effect of which will be felt for another two days. It is a sad fact of life that as you get older hangovers seem to hang around for longer.
But I am not actually all that bed today. I slept on the floor under my trench coat with a towel for a pillow, but after a shower and half a dozen peices of toast I am not to bad. I survived the night with my eyebrows intact.

Tomorow go back to the big city of wellington. This would be good if I haddn't just received a rather nasty surprise. Apraently I only have untill the 19th to move out of the flat. I thought I had untill the 29th. This is not good. Not good at all. I just don't have enough time for everything I need to do.

Where did I put my vodka bottle?

Critical Mass

I am supposed to be reviewing other peoples work, but the good carttons are on. samurai jack starts in five, and then Teen Titans is on. Sometimes I think that I watch too many cartoons. at times like that, I am right. But it isn't my fault, this cartoony adiction. It is a a govenment conspiricy involving [insert pharse here, preferably something to do with mdgets].

speaking of midgets, today there was a show on called 'man vs. beast' where they pitted various different animals against different athletes. A orangutan defeated a sumo wretler at tug-of-war (I still don't know why that game isn't called 'war-of-tug. It makes alot more sense), a navy man beat a chimp on an obsticale course and a zebra destroyed an olympic runner. All of this made sense to me, more or less. But then the logic fell apart when the next match up was announced. It was going to be a competition to see who could pull a boing (that isn't how you spell that is it?)747 twenty meters. Who would win? The bull elephant? Or the forty harnesed midgets?
Midgets in leashes. I would have seen how the match ended if I had not discovered that Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi was on the other channel.

The addiction is mine alone. Anyway, I still have two more days before this stuff is due. Plenty of time.
Plenty.

I remember 2005 like it was only yesterday...

HAH! I love stupid New Years jokes. I say one every year just after the countdown. Like 'oh my god I can't believe it's finaly 1964!' or I look a someones dress and say 'that is soo last year.' Ah. i really don't care if you think it's pathetic. It makes me laugh.

This morning I woke up at 6am without a hangover and finished off my short story. hooray. Hooray indeed. All sixteen pages. In fact, at 5000 words it is the longest thing I have ever written for and university course. Its even longer than the novel I tried to write some time ago. Because the novel only obtained two chapters. Anyway, WOO! Now all I have to do is alot of other stuff. I really shouldn't be doing this, I should be working. But who is going to stop me? The procrastination police? i think knot!

Soon the family is going around to my grandmothers for lunch. Infinate food was fun for the first three days i was back home, but now I am almost getting sick of it. Famous last words. I know that after a week of eating noodle cup slop I will really really want some meat but at the moment I just feel like a glutton. A monstrous, pavlova eating glutton. All the alcohol doesn't help either I am sure.

Only a month until I have to move out of the flat! I hate moving, But if you come back in a couple of posts time I am sure you will hear all about it.

can't get enough of those sugar crisps.