New Guitar!

I have a new guitar! It be beautiful, it be sound beautiful. It be really really good. My dumb ass flatmate said something nasty about it, but I don't care. I have the semi-accustic guitar that I have allways wanted, I bought it a new bag, and it be the feel good.
Words cannot actually describe what it feels like when you get a new guitar. It's kinda like a blind date. At the start you can't get your hopes up cause you don't know if you are going to be paired up with a un-immaginatve strict schoolteacher or a smoking hot biddy with your sense of humor, but when you are staggering home supporting each other because of too many appletini's and you look into her eyes and just know she's going to ask you in for coffee, well... that kinda comes halfway to the feeling that you get when you have run home from the music shop, put your fingers on the fretboard and her the notes ring clear from under your flying fingers. It's good. Really good.

And now fate has tragically torn us apart for hours, while I have to work. Damn you social commitments!

#263: 2nd Birthday of Highlyflannable!

Today is the sencond annerversary of that fatefull night when I decided I was simply too bored to not create my own blog. Nothing was on tv, I was in waipuk and somehow my mind decided on this ultimately tragic form of entertainment! Weee! Looking back on my life I have found that... well, not alot has happened. I could do a top ten list of things that were good, thinks that were bad and things that were drunk, but as I was looking over the events of the last few years I noticed that I would be severly lacking in some events to fit in the good catagory, and that many other events would be included in all three catagories. Really, life is a mixed bag of emotions and activities and trying to pigenhole anyone, including yourself, is bound to be an exercise in futility.
So, instead, lets look to the future... together!
Pretty soon I am going to be going to teachers college. This is going to mean a huge change in the way I do things. For a start, the course will run pretty much from 8.30am to 5.30pm EVERY WEEKDAY. So, no more working at vickies. No more days off. I shall have to find a job that will let me sacrifice my weekends for money, and after five weeks of classes I shall be shipped off to somewhere in new zealand for teaching experiance in some school somewhere. Then I come back for five weeks, then away for five weeks, back for five weeks, away for five weeks. Then, and only then, will I be able to join the exciting and actually quite frigtening world of teaching secondary students about the wonderful and grotesque world of Shakesphere and other notables. But that wont be until after this time next year, so I can safely not worry so much about that. But I do have to worry about not being such a drunkard. Mostly because teachers cannot be such booze hags, but also it occurrs to me that perhaps it is not "my life is empty theirfore I should drink" but more "my life is empty because I drink". It is difficult to do stuff when you are hungover 24/7. Besides, have you woken up sober reciently? It's not a bad feeling. Not at all. It may be harder to get to sleep when you are sober but it is a damn sight easier to get the hell up.
As far as writing goes, I reciently received a positive peice of feedback from the last short-story competition I entered. Very positive, in fact. I didn't win, but most of this stuff you simply have to chalk up to experiance. Today I plan to write some more, after this blog, in preperation for another few competions that are comming up. If I could get myself published within the next year I would be completely over the moon, past mars and into those uncharted reaches of space, racing the hubble telescope into galaxies unknown.
Musically, at the moment I have $149 dollars left to pay on a nice new semi-accustic guitar. If I am able to get the money my parents pledged shortly, I shal be able to pick up "Dusk" on wednesday. This is another strategy I am employing in my fight against the bottle: If I spend money on stuff I need, such as clothes and books and what have you, I can't get so drunk due to lack of funds. And, of course, I will have a lot of sweet stuff.
My bedroom is tidy. I am washing my sheets. Yes, I am actually trying to de-stink my bed rather than just complaining and festering within it. Don't I feel like a proper human being? All this activity and trying not to smell bad. Yes indeedy, I certainly seem to be trying, don't I?
On the negative side, on friday I got exceedingly drunk at my friends going away party and made lots of noise when I stumbled home. I also mangaged to make myself some food, of which I only comsumed half of, and had to wake up and clean. Ewww. But I am trying, I swear to whatever invalid deity you care to name.
I keep on stealing pens from work. There is a fly in my room. I am sorry if anyone was expecting any glorious insights into life as we know it in this blog, but I am afraid to say it is more likely that I shal simply harp on about my pathalogical aversion to things that fly and other unimportaint topics. I sometimes think that after these two years, or even more, I have not learnt a single thing. Except for a lot about english. Which is pretty damn inportaint. More importaint than your silly "science" or "law". At least English can admit when it is a fiction, rather that hiding assumptions behind a mask of fact. I have never actually seen an atom or a subpoena. Have you? Huh? I thought not.
Well, a load of rubbish here so far. But I am moving towards my eventual goal of being a teacher/lecture person/writer extrodinare/person who lives in a house which he owns and has three day weekends. It's nice to have goals in life. And all that traveling I want to do. Good stuff there.

But right now I am going to get out my electrified tennis racquet and kill this damn fly. I hope everyone in the world is able to also conquer their annoying flying insect too, weather physical or metaphorical.

Now that is a wish for the future.

Many things have happened

Days Sober - Who Cares?

Yes indeed. Since Thursday, I competed in Battle of the Bands. We got through to the next round, but my guitar was fucked, so I had to ask around on friday morning to borrow someone elses. Managed to find a guitar. Boss shouted a couple of drinks after work on friday. Went to battle of bands and played very well, but unfortunately didn't win. Went round to friends flat afterwards with six bottles of wine and some groupies. Drank wine. On way home, got a vegeterian kebab. As I was eating my kebab, Calvin, who was also walking home, got punched in the face because he wouldn't give someone a dollar. I got home and said rude things to my flatmate about her clogged up nose (she has a cold.) I woke up in the morning to a text message from my Gradparents announcing that they were comming to wellington and frenzedly cleaned my room in an effort to hide or discard all incriminating contraband. Then went out to a restruant for my great-uncles 65th birthday. Grandparents shocked at my ability to drink five glasses of wine. I beleive I may have laughed. Had sushi for lunch today and farewelled my Grandparents, and then wrote an essay.

I have done so much this weekend that I am having difficulty feeling anything about the particular events. All has just been a blurr of movement.

I feel nothing.

Do I have any other news? No, I think not. I news nothing. This comming week I have two assignments to hand in, one completed one not started, and an appointment in Karori for teaching stuff. Busy busy busy.

And I need to fix/buy guitar.

My skull is leaking!

Days Sober: 1

Gah! Today I have to work at premise, the staff club on campus. I hate working at premise. It is hot and muggy and I don't know where anything is. It reall sucks. And they use stupid coffee that tastes like crap.

In other news, tonight is the first round of the Battle of the Bands, at Tussok bar at massey. So don't be surprised if my sobriety counter has reset itself tomorow.

Now, I must work. Sigh verilly.

Liquefy

Flan's Sobriety Counter: Days Sober - 0

So, who hads bets that I'd crack after two days? Oh well, just gotta start over I suppose. WOO!

Had something to say. Cannae remeber what it was. Going to buy myself some jeans this morning. FOR REAL this time. Mostly because yesterday I spilt warm milk all over the buggers. And I gotta go buy new guitar strings. And some curry or something.

My friend Calvin had the opening of his exhibition last night. It was pretty good. He sold an art work, life is good. I had to celebrate. Thats my excuse. Whats yours, huh? You don't have one! Put your judging fingers away people!

I have lots of things I need to do. Everyone should come and see me and other people at massey bar this thursday and or friday for we be playing in the battle of the bands. Then this weekend I really, really have to get some work done. Otherwise halfway through next week I will have essays comming out my yahoo.

Which is a fictional humaniod character from "Guliver's Travels" writen by one Jonothan Switft. I have a modle of one in my room. And that is where the essays will be comming out of. The yahoo modle in my room.

No boozing

Flan's Sobriety Counter: Time sober, 2 days.

Well, one of those days doesn't really count, becuase I was HUNGOVER LIKE AN OX. But yes, I, Flan, perpetual drunkard extrodinare, am planning to go for a whole 30 days without alcohol. There is only one exemption to this clase, and that is while I am performing in my band I am allowed one (1) handle of beer. All other times the vine, yeast and potato water water shall not pass my lips.

Oh yes, I hear some of you say, we have heard this one before! The flannanator cannot but help himself in the presense of alcohol, wether it be free or retailing at $8 a bottle from the local convinience store! And yes, I do admit, there is a hig chance that I shall fail in this endevour. But I am going to try. A thought occured to me on sunday night, and that thought was that perhaps the reason that I feel really bad a lot of the time and connot sleep to well and often look like pure shite is not because of a vengful god, but perhaps because of the incredible amounts of toxin I put inside me each night. I know, crazy, but it might be the cause. So I am going to try this "bandwaggon" for a month, and if I don't feel any better after that then, well, I am going to be a drunkard until I die.

If you wish to sponser Flan in his endevours for a more healthy lifestyle, you may pledge money that I will collect after my month long sobriety-binge. I promise that money wont be spent on booze.

Probably.

In other news, I had banana, muslie and apple for breakfast this morning, with a coffee. Healthy breakfasts may be cool, but now I need to poo before going to work.

Catch you later, carnivioururs amphibious lizards.

Weekend

It feels like a long time since I have had a weekend. Like a proper weekend, with things like sleep and leasure time and just enough motivation to do some needed things so that when you turn up at work on monday you feel a nice little bit of self satisfaction from the knowledge that you have, in some small way, made your life a better place for yourself.
Of course work soon burns that feeling away but it is still nice to bave it, even if just for a small while.
So what am I doing with my weekend? I am reading. I might watch some Scrubs, I might have a few cans of beer. But what I WILL be doing is reading "Prelude" by Wordsworth, "Songs of Innocence and of Experiance" by Blake, "To a Gentleman" By Coleridge, and something or other that will help me with my essay by Byron.
Byron is actually a damn funny poet. Pitty he has such a fucken stupid name.
In making these grand gestures of will and intent, however, I also know that sometime later on today Calvin will ring and we will play pool. And after pool, who's to say that there might not be a party close by which needs our attention? Or a bar? Or a gutter? Unfortunately I know how likely this is.
But I can resist. I am resistance king. Except temptation. Temptation is pretty hard to resist. And booze. Yeah that too. And just sitting around. In fact, you know what sounds pretty tempting right now?

Doing something.

Oh Jesus Christ, Part Two.

Ah, would you hark at the drunk man. Boy, that is one incomprehensiable blog, the result of a comment made by a friend while I was drunk at Wendys 21st dinner. I had a really good time at that dinner, and probably a bit too much to drink (but hey, this is me we are talking about) and had put it to the back of my mind... unfortunately, the comment was still at the back of my mind when I got home at about 1am, where upon it exploded into the wide world of the internet as incoherant drool.

I like the internet. Sometimes its just like a really big sponge for all that mess you don't need any more.

Well, anyway, now I have stuff to do. Meet with my agent person regarding a short story competition (I haven't heard from the previous one yet. When did I enter that? two months ago?) and do some work on some essay and go to work. Businiess as usual.

Oh jesus christ...

...blah blahbalh, maon, bitch, whine, rubarb, rubarb, rubarb.

I was going to give you the extended version of this post, but unfortunatly, my computer died halfway through it. So this is the condensed version.

I don't care what anyone says. These are my feelings. This blog is my feelings. Yes, they are edited, either by the booze that I have consumed or by the feelings of the people who I know read this blog, but these are my feeelings! If you find them stagnat or unreal, deal with it. My life is basically filled with booze and essays. Well done if you find more meaning to my life than I do. Well done indeed. You are obviously the kind of person who willshift throgh a ton of muck to find a penny.

Oh Jesus Christ indeed. Save me fromthe critics and editors of this world. You cannot seem to save me from anything else. And beleive me,when I get down to Hell, I am going to make a pact with Satan (because even he seems to see my soul as a useless comodity as it is now) to work with him until I can find a way to kick God in the balls. Hindsight or no, drunkeness or no, I emplore my readers to realise this: yes, sometimes I do not rememberwhat is importaint. Yes, sometimes I omit what is improtaint because it could be harmful to those other people I know. Yes, sometimes I omit things that I think or feel or do because itcould be halmful to myself to remember. Sometimes language, as much as I hate to admit it, is simply not enough to convey the true emotion that ripples beneath everyones everyday mask of acceptability.

This blog is not reallly her to immortalise my every move. It is a amalgamation of what I am, what I feel, what I say, what I do, what I think, what I cannot think, what I write between lectures, what I think between moments, whatI cannat envision without an atlas to "lifeas WE know it".

No one knows what life as WE know it truky is.

So please forgive me if sometimes this blog seems like a rushed narraitive, but it may surprise you to realise that I think in narraive. I am consantly re-editing the sentences I spoke a minute age, I am constantly framing my own experiances within that framework of the human mind that demands a cohesive plot. Unfortunately, Life dosen't work that way.

We are all spirals, and I am sorry if you do not inderstand what it means to feel the tug Of that "other space'

This other space is my own .Accesable, and the MACHINES cannot function.

oH DEAR GID,i AM POSSIBLY too drunk to be typing.

Obviously.

But I live on, and hopeflully, friends will accept my appologies for what has happened and my life will return as normal.

A future where the human body a gave a flame...

Ps: Imogen and Clarisse, I will be comming to pay you a visit unnnpanned or a lightsfalure.

peace out.

Alright this is ridiculous.

Gotta write something here. Been too long. Unfortunately, I am in a rush. Have to run up t ouni soon to orint off an essay I wrote last night (Its not due in for 13 days! This is the most organised I have ever been, ever. EVER.). Have been drunk lots, have to write two short stories tonight, have to sleep, have to hve my beard trimmed... gotta do some crap.

GAHHH! I STILL LIVE!!
I shall put more pertenent and interesting things in this space when I have a small amount more time.

Time, its on my side. Just now, however, it's taking the day off.