another

Another Wednesday. Another shift of Doom. Another Six Beers. Another pay day.
I should be doing an assignment. Instead I am mucking around on the internet. Damn internet.
My shoulder hurts. My back hurts. Damn old man body. I am going to physio, but It doesn't seem to be working. But my physiotherapist is hot, so thats ok.

Off to drink myself more bliss. While listning to modest mouse. I love having music on my computer.

Birthday Computer!

Wow, it all works in together, does it not? I just reciently got a new computer for my birthday, which is actually in about six months, but hey, Im not complaining, and just now have got the internet up and running, just in time to celebrate the first birthday of my blog! Thats right, I have been spilling crap onto the internet almost daily from my humble begginings back in 29th May, 2005. Woo, it's been along journey, hasn't it? Looking back, I find that I can remember almost nothing that has happened over the last year, but just for fun, lets look at some of the highlights and lowlights that has been 'Highly Flannable, 2005-06!'
1: New computer. Ahh, it's good to have my very own piracy machine, stocked full of music that my friend stole for me from artists. Gives me the nice fuzzies.
2: Desent into alcoholism! It's been a bumpy road with the bottle, I must say. I have always been a bit of a drinker, but a little while ago it just got fricken ridiculous. Happily, however, I am getting better, now only drinking about as much as I used to, and on the road to socially acceptable sobriety.
3: Relationship breakup. Well, Im single now. Come get it ladies! Theres enough Flan to go ALL the way around!
4: Three flats. Considering I don't like moving, I seem to do it a hell of a lot. I have lived in three flats since the start of this blog, slept on floors, couches, a closet, the roof and gutters. I now sleep in a bed, but that was only good fourtune. But good times all round with my many dwellings. Friends made, TV watched, general amusement had.
5: Nonsense. I have to say that at least 95% of my life seems to be made up of nonsense, especially if the posts here are anything to go by. But I like nonsense. Nothing better in my opinion. My crazy opinion.

Whew, what an exciting recap! All that not much! Well, this year I have many plans.
1: Buy A Scooter. I plan to live in the wops of welly next year, and need some form of transport, I suppose. I want a bright orange scooter, with a neon green seat.
2: Learn Japanese. I have been planning to do this since time immemorial, and have now just started! I know all the Hiragana symbology! Pitty I can't speak anything yet.
3: Graduate from my BA: I had better do this I suppose. Cant let the last two years of semi-work go to waste, now can I?
4: Get some story published: A much less concrete goal, but I keep on writing, so I might as well aim for publication.

And thats about it. Past, future, a little bit of the present. All is good. Off to go make dinner.

Tommorow

Computer! Computer tomorow!
It all bigins tomorrow!
With its brand new keys,
Its willing to please,
And when it connects,
to the internet,
Oh computer,
You make my heart soar,
I shan't be alone,
no not anymore,
With an external mouse,
I shall surf in my house,
Oh computer.

I cant get no...

You know what I haven't had much of? Sleep. This weekend was full of all sorts of things, but mostly me helping a friend by acting in his film assignment. Bloody movies. I wouldn't want to do that crap for a living. Perhaps my experiance wasn't helped by the fact that for most of the film I am not wearing pants. I was sober, and not wearing pants. God Damn.
Well, finished my moday 6hour shift, now am going to go home and see if any of my food is still edible. I haven't been home for four days. How long does milk last? I can't remember.
I am supposed to be starting and studying for assingments now, but I can see that isn't going to happen today. I am simply going to read a book, play a guitar which doesn't have a pencil for a nut, and watch some tv. But I need to get started. I need to get started soon.

LOLsleepOMG.

all manner of interesting.

People who look like my ex-girlfriend. Booze. Women. E-mails from my ex-girlfriend. A wall made completly out of beer cans. Ballroom dancing lessons. Nasal hair. All these things, and more, have happened to me since the last time I blogged. So much has happened , in fact, that it would be a very long post to recoount it all here. Just rest assured that none of it was phisically debilitating and there was only 8 hours sleep involved.
Instead, I shall recount to you the wisdom that I have gained from these experiances, in the hope that you shall be able to learn without the tourture.
FLAN'S GUIDE TO LIFE AND STUFF:
1) Try to advoid the 'friend zone'.
2) Too much cheese makes you constipated.
3) It is better to egg suckers than to suck eggs.
4) It is essential to spend more than three hours on your 3rd year english essays.
5) Your relationship with your ex is never over untill one of you die.
6) Don't work 9 and a half hour shifts ever.

Well, there we have it. Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows either. They will always screw you over.

My SPINE!

Dear go my back hurts. Today I have to go to the p[lace and book an apointment so as my spine can be put back into place. I don't know why it hurts. It might be the stress. it might be that accident I had some years back. It might be the fact that I have to stand up for hours at a time during the day. But I don't really care. The only question I want awnsered is thus:
Can I wheel this chair across campus for the rest of the day?

ommorow is PAYDAY! I plan to spend it as I always do: Eating good food and drinking bad wine.

Monday.

Just in case you didn't know what the day was, I thought like restating it! We all get lost about the days of the week. Me especially. I have to cross them off my calender each day to make sure I don't get lost.
Well, that was an interesting aside. In other news, The parliment job was crap. i don't know how much I am allowed to say (apparently their is a clause in my contract that forbids me from talking to the media.. how about that?) because I don't want my retinas scoured again. But to say it sucked bum would be an understatement. i just feel sorry for the people who do that sort of crap every day. They have to stand up alot. You know what else stands up alot? My wang. Ohh yeah.
So now I have to go and book myself a physio appointment, because apparently my body is old. my back is colapsing and my shoulder likes to just jab me with pain every now and then. And I think I have a brain tumor. But thats the last of my worries.
I the weekend I got drunk of the wiskey, watched scrubs and slept. Nothing new there.
Well, now I have to go off to the supermarket, for I have no bread, and I live off bread. Or toast. usually toast. but It will have to last me untill wednesday, where the fruits of my labour happens!

Go pay day!

ahhh

well, thaty was a hell of a shift. Now I am going to go out, have some food, and get drunk. It has been awhile since I have been drunk, and god knows I have been earning enough money to deserve it. Tomorrow I am taking an extra shift as well, just for shits and giggles - at parliment. I get to dress up nice and serve booze to MP's. Fun. Fun in their bum.
What else? nothing. So tired. so very very tired.

But my paycheck was $218 this week. Next week it will be even more. I am saving up for a scooter. having bad preminitions about me on the road? I don't blame you.

Working for the weekend.

Well, Actually I am working for the Wednesday. Wednesday is when I get paid. I will get paid alot, because I have been working alot. Lots and lots. Tommorow, However, I still have to get through the Nine hour SHIFT OF DOOM before I can enjoy the fruits of my labour. But enjoy them I shal, and you will not be able to stop me. on Wednesday I shall eat food that has been prepared by someone else, for my eating pleasure, at some establisment, preferably with a glass of wine. And on Thursday me and a friend are going to go shopping (no, I don't care if you have no money, it WILL be a good time, damn it!) and I shall buy things that make me happy inside. I also have to go shopping for foodstuffs at some point, and I will welcome the change in diet, as I have been eating toast, toast, more toast and occasionally, 'bread', which is just meta toast anyway. On the weekend I shall buy some booze (but not too much!) play poker with my friends, watch movies and eat pizza. And then all my money will be gone. Souind like fun, no?
But today I have to go into town, to return some dvds. One was a alternative ending to the 'Neon Genisis Evangellion' seris made by Gainax. I would have liked to have been there when they pitched that idea.
'I need money for an alternative 'Eva' ending!'
'Go on...'
'It will be three hours long!'
'Sounds good, but we need something new...'
'Um, Ahh... well, we are going to put in a lot of naked people, and the main character will save humanity so he can first try and strange a giry, and then masturbate.'
'BRILIANT! Here's all the money you need!'
Bloody Gainax. You gotta whatch out where you stand with tho0se bastards. Sure, the original ending of Eva was pretty damn confusing, but it takes a special person to change 'confusing' into 'self-molestation'. They did it wit 'Beserk' as well. 'Beserk' was mostly normal, right up untill the last two episodes, when, out of the blue, tentacle rape aplenty.
Anyway, back to the moral of my story, I have to go into town to return these DVD's, so I though I would go and have a look through Te Papa as well. Just because I can. And because it is free.

Im so poor. I cannot even afford a pie.

OMNISEXUAL!

Oh, how I wish I was omnisexual. All sex, all the time, everywhere. But no, alas it seems I am doomed to remain asexual, genderless and alone, pleasing myself to ezy-buy magazines.
AHAHA! Ezy-buy!
Anywhay, me date on friday...well, that didn't happen. Keh. Oh well, worse things happen at sea. Like soddomy. Soddomy between saliors. There wasn't any soddomy at this lack of date, so that is what I am thankful for. No soddom.
But the party went rather well. I kept my pants on. I drank a bottle of wine. And a bottle of beer. And a glass of vodka-orange. and thats all! Nothing else! This is a big step towards goddness and hapyness and not frightning strangers! On the down side, it was a little boring. The high point of the party was probably heckling strangers as they waked past, pretending that we knew them, and then talking to them about mutal, yet non-existant, friends. I hope Jonno actually doesn't have a friend called Steve, otherwise Steve is in a lot of trouble.
Yesterday I spent all day in bed. All of it. I ate toast. All of it. And played playstation. Also, all of it. And now all is good.

Beware the stranger with the hairy face! His beard hides ETERNAL DAMNATION!

It be over

Finally, it is over. The last two weeks have only avoided being classified as 'hell' by the fact that it has been barstadly cold. Being ill, working everyday, trying to cut back drinking, late nights and three assignments have taken their toll. I am so very, very tired.
But now I have nothing due for 31 days! Glorious, glorious nothing to study for! I can finally get some reading done, some writing done and, most importaintly, a but load of sleeping done. It's funny how things seem to pick up just after you have finished and printed off a not-too-bad assignment and it is friday and you don't have to work for two days and you have a party to go to tomorrow and a coffee date also. Hah! Bet you didn't know that, did you Mr. Three people who read this! Coffee, with a girl, on saturday, before the party. Good yes?
so that is what is happening. This weekend my official goal is to limit myself to ONE BOTTLE OF WINE during the party, thus (hopefully) eliminating any chance of me doing something stupid. Well, I will probably will do something stupid, but at least I will know that it is stupid and probably enjoy it.

Long live the weekend.

Hell is 9 hours of work

Damn am I tired! So very, very tired. Too tired. Yesterday I worked. it was hell. For about three hours, the cafe was packed. Packed full. Of crazy coffee drinker, making sounds at me and expectiong me to understand what they were saying. I couldn't sit down. I couldn't rest. The horde of crazies just kept comming, and comming, and comming.
And after my shift I still had to go into town and pay for a ticket to 'Death of a salesman' so that I would not faill my course. I am seeing the show tonight. The essay is due tommorow. I don't particularly like the play. I think it is boring and overladen with 'meaning'. What I really want to see in the theatre is a play that is like a Arnold movie. Two minutes of plot set up, then an hour and a half of pyrotecnichs, bad dialouge and guns. I can't be bothered with all this 'thinking' malarky.
Last night, my portfolio from the creative writing workshop I did was returned to me, complete with comments. I drank some wine to ease the pain. I still have a lot of work to do before I can start making money. So much work to do. The stories will proably have to become twice as long. Damn and stuff. But I passed the course, so credit towards my degree and so forth.

Lots of tutorials today, but for now I am going to go do the crossword. No Im not, I left it at work. Now I am going to sit. I like sitting.

Corrections

After seeing my previous post, on of my COUNTLESS legions of fans has informed me that, implied in my last post, was the idea that I was the absolute god of milk drinking, and that this was wrong. Now, because I feel that all four of my fans... I mean, every fan in the COUNTLESS BILLIONS that read this page are worth more to me than great big jugs of cider, I shall print this correction:
Yes, I bought two litres of milk, but no, I did not finish it all by myself. I had help, and some went into making the cheese sauce. And some went on my weet-bix in the morning. I am not the milk drinking god. I am a wimpy n00b of milk drinking. I cannot handle my milk, especially not 'full cream' that only the truly awesome drink.

So, now that that unpleasant business is out of the way, allow me to report on what has happened to me today! Not alot. went to work, went to my first class in about a month, had my first beer since sunday, and only had one, and didn't even have to pay for it, which I was glad of , because eastside has doubled the price of their jugs. doubled. Made twice as expensive. For tui. $12 a jug. For tui. Jug. Dollars. Twelve of them. So much. Too much.
Well, sorry eastside, but I don't think I will be boozing at your establisment any longer. You have been a good freind to me over the past years, but now I think it is time for me to part with your greedy, money sucking ways. Why must satan invade everything I hold dear?

It's all satan's falt. Or perhaps it's Gods. Why, for example, de he have to cast Satan to the depth of hell? Couldn't he have just had a time out? Grounded for a week, perhaps? But no, God had to fuck it up for all of us. Way to go dude.

SATAN!

scooter boi!

LOL and OMG! Boy howdy is all this living stuff tyring. I definately get enough sleep, but I am still tired! Bloody hell! Perhaps it has something to do with the six hour shift I just worked. Nah.
Anyway, my weekend was so very productive. After getting doubled on a scooter to my friends house (and let me tell you, having you feet dangled an inch form the ground while going uphill at 25k is no ride for the faint of heart) I have had alot of milk. I then hocked some books and bought some more milk. Ahh, milk. You make my bones strong and my bowels constipated. But there are worse things.
But I have something to tell you! Guess how much beer I had over the weekend! Two! Not two litres, kegs or stomach pumpings! No! Just two pints of beer. Over three days. Damn I'm good. Take that liver cancer1 I shall not submit to your juicy goodness as easilly as you expected! I will fight on!

Viva La Flan!