OMNISEXUAL!

Oh, how I wish I was omnisexual. All sex, all the time, everywhere. But no, alas it seems I am doomed to remain asexual, genderless and alone, pleasing myself to ezy-buy magazines.
AHAHA! Ezy-buy!
Anywhay, me date on friday...well, that didn't happen. Keh. Oh well, worse things happen at sea. Like soddomy. Soddomy between saliors. There wasn't any soddomy at this lack of date, so that is what I am thankful for. No soddom.
But the party went rather well. I kept my pants on. I drank a bottle of wine. And a bottle of beer. And a glass of vodka-orange. and thats all! Nothing else! This is a big step towards goddness and hapyness and not frightning strangers! On the down side, it was a little boring. The high point of the party was probably heckling strangers as they waked past, pretending that we knew them, and then talking to them about mutal, yet non-existant, friends. I hope Jonno actually doesn't have a friend called Steve, otherwise Steve is in a lot of trouble.
Yesterday I spent all day in bed. All of it. I ate toast. All of it. And played playstation. Also, all of it. And now all is good.

Beware the stranger with the hairy face! His beard hides ETERNAL DAMNATION!