Her heart was as cool as a box of beers

"So you don't think your brain needs cleaning?
Looked behind your stove lately?
See all that food trapped behind it?
ITS LIKE THAT WITH YOUR BRAIN!
EWW!
Hi, I'm Flan, I'm here to tell you about our new special on brain cleaning!
20% OFF IF YOU DRILL YOUR OWN SKULL HOLE!"
Etc.

Yes, the above is not only a nonsensical rant but also a deep and meaningful illustration of how much I hate certain radio adverts. I have been listening to alot of radio at the moment, for 8 hours a day in fact, and the above is the transcription of a radio ad enticing you to get your teeth done (to read the orignial ad, just replace the word "brain" with "teeth"). It is voiced by a woman who sounds like she is just about to fall victim to an anxiety attack. Now I realise Radio is a very different creature to televison, which has it's own stupid advertisments, and radio ads must act in a different way to compensate for the lack of visuals, but this doesn't mean I cannot hate it when it is poured into my ear twelve times a day and then pervert it for my own amusement.
Like the ad which starts off "Wow, thats a flash looking eftpos terminal! Where did you get it?" and then proceeds to list the things that you need to find it. People just don't talk like this.
But I think they should.
INTRODUCING: TALK LIKE A RADIO ADVERT DAY!
The fun and easy way to scary the strangers you meet, today!
Senario: you are at a busstop. Start talking like a radio advert!

You: "Man, I really wish I had a flash industrial sized ice maker"
Stranger: "Who are you and why are you talking to me?"
You: "Really? You got an ice maker supreme for only $89.99 including GST?"
Stranger: "No, what the fuck? I didn't say..."
Y: "A special slushie attachment as well? I must get one! Can you give me a lift?"
S: "We're standing at a bus stop!"
Y: "Of course I want you to take me to Ice Shop Bussiness Suplier 199 Tinakori Road! Or you could take me to my house where we could shop online at dubdubdubdotICESUPREMEdotcom... together..."

At this point, I suspect that the stranger will either run away or tazer you. I take no responsibility for either or any other occurance which results in hilarious pain, but I would like you to email me with the results. If you are still able.

Anyway...
After you get used to the tedium of washing clothes for 8 hours a day at $12 an hour your mind starts doing some very strange things. One of those strange things are the figures of rapidly moving bodies I see out of the corner of my eyes. The other is a tendancy to talk, whisle and sing to myself. I walk through the store when I am bored either whisling "Time is on my side" to see who has seen the movie "Fallen" lately, or muttering under my breath about how I am a chicken. Sometimes I dance. But on the plus side, I have come up with a new idea for a song and for a short story! Huzzah! The creative channels are be comming unglued along with the rest of my sanity!
Me having to pack up my room and clean it ready to move without actually have a place to move to yet doesn't help matters. My last week in this flat is next week.

In other News: I have joined a dating website, cause nothing else is working. The coworker I like still makes the end of the day worth it, though. Lingering eye contact, a swift look over her shoulder... ahh, unrequieted love! Killer of many many theatrical figures.

"You will most probably die
at the hands of my arms
When I go and fly and take over your face
with the blades of my hatredcopter."