God of New Years.

Why isn't there a figure head for new years? Christmas has Santa, Easter has the Bunny and the dead guy, Halloween has Jack Skellington. I think it is time we had a figure to put on cards to send to each other in the New Years, because we dont have enough to spend our money on as it is. Perhaps the best card whould be one that simply had a mirrior on the front, so that when you got it on new years you could fully appreciate how shit you look. Why must we insist on passing every benchmark in life with a horrendus piss up? I think we are just too afraid to go into the great unknown that a new year brings without three bottles of wine inside us.

Anyway, since I am still getting over my bloody hangover, you now get to read about Calvin, who I promised to share some insights into the life of last year. yes, a year ago. But I still remember because my memory is immortal. And cause I put it on this site.

Name: Calvin ShineSex: Male
Age: 20 (b.21/1/1986)
Star sign: Aquarius
Relationship to main character: Mate
Do they live with anybody/ any pets: Lives with maybe three girls and the psychotic cat Nutkin
Neighbours: Don’t know them. Might be Lawyers and bogans. Perhaps both. (He seays he’s not Emo, but he is).
Three physical attributes: Scar on right calf next to the fibula, dark hair he likes to spike up with copus amounts of hair product and striking (also amazing) blue eyes.
Clothing: Favorites, Dislikes, Work and Casual Etc. (remember shoes): Jeans, usually blue and in tatters, with large cuff which hide his shoes. Feels uncomfortable if people can see his shoes. Sports a range of hand made tee-shirts, and neer wears long sleved shirts without rolling up the sleves, even in artic weather. Wears many “Mangles” (Man bangles) and other “bling”, mostly homemade rings. Sometimes wears a hat. Doesn’t work, so has no obligations in that area, and his attire dosent change much even in formal situations. Will sometimes don a jacket or tails if feeling especially posh. Enjoys dress up parties.
Love life: Active and awkward, has many “potentail” parters but harbours misgivings about abilities of people to commit or find meaningful compainonship.
Colour of bathroom: Cream. It is strange, aynd has a window looking into the toliet from both inside and outside. Is covered with old newspapers from Gisborne.
Eating habits, a typical eating day: BreAKFST IS THREE WEETBIX, with half a cup of milk and tea spoon of sugar. Rations milk like a nazi. Lunch is two pieces of bread with either tuna, baked beans or egg. Dinner is a strange conncotion made in a pot, based around either pasta, tuna, chicken, or all three.
Occupation: Unemployed even with his BA in Philosophy and Media studies. He often wonderes why we are not surprised about this.
Transportation: Legs. Or leg, since he sliced himself.
Typical evening: Music, of which he has an abundance, cards and booze if friends are around, otherwise sits and works on his many miscellaneous projects or just sits.
Weekend: Flan tuns up. Music. Cards. Booze. Miscelaneous party, hangover, speculations on the world, insanity, life and love, Black Books. Invader Zim.
Two daily habits/idiosyncrasies: Strictly organises music collection (CD’s must be in correct order)
Bad/ Unappealing/ Destructive habit: Chuckles indiscriminately when winning at games.
Good Habit: Piracy. Personal secret: “Secretly a little naïve.”
Fear: Busses
Received Gift: Sushi kit.
Made Gift: Spray painted newspaper for wrapping paper
Personal happy thing: Music
Spiritual/ existential belief/ background: Calvin is god. A can manifest things at will. We are all figments of Calvins imagination. However, Calvin is ignorant of his abilities, and therefore dosent do anything cool like make mony, just gets really good hands at poker/ spoons and constantly finds four leaf clovers. Has found over four hundred to date.
Philosophy: “Im insane, the world is going sane around me”
Obsession: Hair
Memory of being in a car: Lying in back of van and poping up to scare cars behind.
A trip: UTJ (Ultimate Train Journer)
Best/ Worst Birthday: When he got the Spongebob cake (18th)/ Grandmother died on birthday (10th)
Embarrassing moment: Haley Rodder. Less said the better.
Favourite colour: Blue
Sleep habits: Start on my side, then shif to left hand side, finally falling asleep on stomach with head under the pillow.
What character thinks about Boss/ Teacher/ Landlord: Landlord: “Is pretty cool, she pays me money.”
Favourite/ least favourite animal: Oscar, an old pet dog/ Billy Goat Kids.
Favourite/ least favourite band: Blindside/ Missy Eliot.
Computer?: Yes. It has music on it.
Special Talent: Limbo.

Man, how cool name is Calvin Shine? A whole lot better than Flan Hyperbole, I tell ya.