Grey skies

Back I am at the university. The sky is grey by no rain is falling. Wind whistles though hornbeam trees like a summer coloured sigh...

*Ahem*

Egad! I do not have any I.D. I haven't for about a year. But it seems to be only now that I can no longer purchase alcohol, open bank accounts, prove my identity or find my house key. It is at times like these I beleive in God again. Haha God, very funny indeed.
see, it is only 10am, and yet I have failed in all my endevours this morning AND the intranet has crashed on me four times. well, no one has noticed that I havent been charged for any usage yet, so we will just keep that to ourselves.

I have to do writing stuff, but I don't think my brain is consice enough yet. ll the bunnies is what I see.

Faithful minions

I don't have a computer. So I had to wait untill uni was open before I could post blog. Blog. Yup.

I have been up to much stuff since we last came together my freinds. I am, for the beginning, no longer sleeping on the floor of any room. I am now sleeping on a matress, on a bed base. You would think this would make me happy, but I am filled with annoyance. The bed is hard, and to small for my muscle bound bulk. The matress it too short and my legs fall out the bottom and on the sides. And my pillow is lumpy.
I do have my own room now, complete with guitar and comfy chair, wardrobe that I do not have to sleep in and my playstation. I played a game of Tekken 4 to see if I was still the OMG p0wn4g3 m45t3r and I was, so that was boring.
Again, I have no money.
On friday I got really really drunk and walked through a scary park to fall asleap on a couch. The party was in brooklin. If you do not know about the wellington aera, then all you need to know is this: Brookin is uphill. It is uphill from everywhere. It is a mountain, and my freinds live on top of it. I stole their cutlery.

I have finished me (hopefully) final draft of me first story for my folio that is to be handed in friday. Now all I have to do is type it up.

Or, of couse, I could procrastinate more.

The five steps of lonley

Woo, me some good yes! Yesterday was the most hellishly boring experiance I have had in quite some time. (I am writing about yesterdays for now because I am sleeping in the living room and my flatmate gets up at 7am. Good ole 7am. 7am is proof that god was on crack.) I did not much. I was supposed to be re-editing me writen things for a folio, but instead I sat and looked at the wall and cronicled my process of being lonley.

There are five steps that everyone passes through when they have nothing to do:
Step one: Boredom. If you weren't sleeping on the lounge floor you would go back to bed.
Step two: Depression. It is raining outside and you start to list all your freinds that you cannot be bothered visiting.
Step Three: Agitation. You pace around the room and lip sync muted informercials.
Step Four: Crazy. You go outside in the rain that is comming in sideways and buy a subway footlong.
Step Five: Coffee. You medicate yourself with caffeen untill someone arrives or you die.

And that was my day. I did watch Enter the Dragon and another movie called 'Versus', where an escaped convict finds himself in a forrest where the dead turn into Zombies. It was really just an excuse for blood and brain bits, but it made me laugh lots and good. Those crazy Japanese.

Of to eat rice and peas - nature's excuse for sustinance.

Living off of flooring

I HAVE MOVED!
At the last minute I decided it was going to be easyier to move into an already establised flat rather than suffer anymore indignity at the hands of the 'we screw you for money' realting agecies. Unfortunately, the rent here is a little steeper than I had hoped ($35 dollars a week more expensive, actually... that is seven bottles of 'passion pop' a week!) but it is right intownand next to the uni and it means that I didn't have to move a desk that is begger than my bed. Two thumbs up!

Now I have fnished class as well, which means I have three glorious weeks of nothing to do inside. This is the first time in a year that I will be able to relax without the guilt of the work I am not doing. So me and my metric ton of coffee are going to stay indoors and watch bruce lee movies and read lots. Lots and lots and lots.

And now that I found out how to use this computer, I will once again be able to terriorize the internal netted comunity with my drunken ramblings! Won't that be fun?

festival of expletives

God [buzz] [buzz] [buzz] and [buzz] [buzz]ing [buzz] flat finding!

It is that time of the year! I will have no where to live next monday, and if I do find a residence, I have no way to get my things there!
Add to the delightful mix of beauty and happiness hugs the fact that I have no money and no booze. Over the next seven days i have to pack my life into boxes, find a house, and unpack it all again. all while studing. some things are going to get very crumpled.

And in case you didn't know, flat hunting is the most rewarding thing in the world.
'oh, you took an hour out of your day to find walk across town, find this place and walk up the seventy stairs to see me? Im sorry, the flat was let two weeks ago. Why did I leave the noticew in the paper then? Well, I guess it is because I AM SATAN INCARNATE!'

Then the realter breathes fire on you and pushes you down the stairs.

Time waits for booze

Ah, my freinds. I can always rely on them to, when I am supposed to be working, drag me out of the house and force me to spend a night in drunken revelry the effect of which will be felt for another two days. It is a sad fact of life that as you get older hangovers seem to hang around for longer.
But I am not actually all that bed today. I slept on the floor under my trench coat with a towel for a pillow, but after a shower and half a dozen peices of toast I am not to bad. I survived the night with my eyebrows intact.

Tomorow go back to the big city of wellington. This would be good if I haddn't just received a rather nasty surprise. Apraently I only have untill the 19th to move out of the flat. I thought I had untill the 29th. This is not good. Not good at all. I just don't have enough time for everything I need to do.

Where did I put my vodka bottle?

Critical Mass

I am supposed to be reviewing other peoples work, but the good carttons are on. samurai jack starts in five, and then Teen Titans is on. Sometimes I think that I watch too many cartoons. at times like that, I am right. But it isn't my fault, this cartoony adiction. It is a a govenment conspiricy involving [insert pharse here, preferably something to do with mdgets].

speaking of midgets, today there was a show on called 'man vs. beast' where they pitted various different animals against different athletes. A orangutan defeated a sumo wretler at tug-of-war (I still don't know why that game isn't called 'war-of-tug. It makes alot more sense), a navy man beat a chimp on an obsticale course and a zebra destroyed an olympic runner. All of this made sense to me, more or less. But then the logic fell apart when the next match up was announced. It was going to be a competition to see who could pull a boing (that isn't how you spell that is it?)747 twenty meters. Who would win? The bull elephant? Or the forty harnesed midgets?
Midgets in leashes. I would have seen how the match ended if I had not discovered that Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi was on the other channel.

The addiction is mine alone. Anyway, I still have two more days before this stuff is due. Plenty of time.
Plenty.

I remember 2005 like it was only yesterday...

HAH! I love stupid New Years jokes. I say one every year just after the countdown. Like 'oh my god I can't believe it's finaly 1964!' or I look a someones dress and say 'that is soo last year.' Ah. i really don't care if you think it's pathetic. It makes me laugh.

This morning I woke up at 6am without a hangover and finished off my short story. hooray. Hooray indeed. All sixteen pages. In fact, at 5000 words it is the longest thing I have ever written for and university course. Its even longer than the novel I tried to write some time ago. Because the novel only obtained two chapters. Anyway, WOO! Now all I have to do is alot of other stuff. I really shouldn't be doing this, I should be working. But who is going to stop me? The procrastination police? i think knot!

Soon the family is going around to my grandmothers for lunch. Infinate food was fun for the first three days i was back home, but now I am almost getting sick of it. Famous last words. I know that after a week of eating noodle cup slop I will really really want some meat but at the moment I just feel like a glutton. A monstrous, pavlova eating glutton. All the alcohol doesn't help either I am sure.

Only a month until I have to move out of the flat! I hate moving, But if you come back in a couple of posts time I am sure you will hear all about it.

can't get enough of those sugar crisps.

Teh words commeth

...and now they are gone. I have spent twelve hours over the last two days writing furiously, squezing words out of my being like sweat out of pores and like corn out of orifices. It has been none to plesant. Today I have spent much time typing the damn thing up. Unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that it is shit. It started off alright, with good intentions and a completly realistic frame, but along the way it aquired an imaginary friend, a narcotic main character who is out of touch with reality and a fixation for the colour blue.

What the hell am I supposed to do? I know this is only the early draft stage, but I have to make the decision now as to weather I let it go completly wack or prune it back to it's realistic origins. The middle road of a balance between the two just seems like too much work to sucessfully do before wednesday. Oh well. I will sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning.

In other news, I watched both the fantastic four movie and ong-bak, a newish martial arts flick. Ong-bak was really good, and very very gravity defying (no wires though!) and the fantastic four movie wasn't as bad as I expected. However, I think they needed to get the shit kicked out of them more before winning.

Well, now I am going to watch the midsummer murder special. That poor old inspector. where ever he goes, someone seems to end up dead. I wish I had his job.

My mum is bathing the dog in the sink. You can't give entertainment like this away!

You smell funny

well, it is proably true. Alot of people do smell funny. You smell funny. I smell funny. Elmo smells funny. We are all just part of one big funny smelling blob. A blob of EVIL!

Well, today I helped clean up the house. I think it is the least I can do since I am eating my parents out of house and home. I have done nothing but eat since I got back from welly. Well, pretty much nothing. I have watched a lot of cartoons. But i haven't done my writing. I still have seven days to go, but I have to start tommorow. I have to. EVIL!

Garlic bread is a good thing. I like garlic bread alot. It may make me smell funny but it tastes damn good. The man who invented things in cans should have been awarded a nobel prize (yes, I know garlic bread doesn't come in cans, this is a completly different tangent). Thik of how difficult our life would be without canned food. We would have to go shopping every two days and would be unable to prepare for the zombie apocolapse. Prepare for the zombies! They come! EVIL!

Well, you get the picture. Anyway, it is past midnight so I had better not eat anything. You know what happens when you feed them after midnight.

Liquor is quicker

Last night I was the drunk. To get drunk was pretty much the only non-work thing on my list of things to do over the christmas break. And now I wonder why. I obviously haven't learnt any lesson from my drinking. It sill makes me feel like testicles, it still makes my money go away. It still makes me fall over.
The worst thing about drinking is the fact that it has far reaching repercussions. I was supposed to be doing stuff today. Now I am not.

There is a pavlova on the bench of my soul.

morning in the crib

AHHH! I found out where all the stupid comes from! satan brews it in his big metal vats, deep below the earth, sends it via courier to Microsoft who then distill it for extra potency and pump it directly into every chat site/engine/MSN/cell phone/crazy frog song ever created. And all to keep us smoking. Dispicable.

In other news, the 18hour mark of awakedness has been surpassed. Soon the good cartoons will be on and I can free myself from this entropy machine. Nothing destroys entropy quicker than Samurai Jack. I wish I had FLCL.

Funyums are not Lugnuts. I think I have some icecream left. All is good in the manger.

Oh beerknuts!

Today it be christmas. My sister woke me up a 5.30am. In the morning. She is seventeen, and this is the only day of the year that she can get out of bed before 10 o'clock.

I got coffee.A mound of coffee. So much coffee I get the shakes just looking at it. It smells like caffeen. It tastes like caffeen. It is caffeen. i have just added it all up, and I have about 10kgs of coffee. If I used 20g of coffee each day then I would be able to stay awake for half of this year! all must beware. It is more than possible.

Tommorow is the last day of my self inflicted holiday, and then it is back to hundreds upon seconds of endless cancer causing writing. So before I am engulfed in a sea of work and sleeplesness I shall leave you with these chilling words of warning:

If you do it too much you will go blind.

Merry Christmas!

Just covering the printing costs

does anyone ever, ever buy those meditation books off the street? no, didn't think so.
Street thing: 'Hello sir, today we are talking to people with over abundant face hair! Like to buy this...'
Flan: 'Stay away from me Hell beastie! My eyes inflate in your presence!'

Lots has happened to me dunring my absence from blogging. i have eaten a packet of Gingernuts. I have slept on our roof. I have 'aquired' a christmas tree. But most of all, I have been writing. oh so much writing. You think it ends, and then it divides through some unknown process of mytosis into seven more pages. And you know that it wont stop there.

At the moment I am back in the hometown. Foster's home for imaginary freinds is on, and I am waiting for 'Shaolin showdown' to begin. I have touched, shook, tasted and listend to all of my chritmas presents under the tree and, unusually, I don't know what any one of them is.

Woo! Monkeys online! Must. Tantalise. Featherduster. (The sane stopped a few days ago).

World Flat Wrestling

That's right! After many months of good intentions and hollow threats, the WFW has finally begun! unfortunately, even though I created all the characters, I am still wedged firmly in the middle of the WFW order. Bloody tourture rack. Gets me every time.
In other news, people reviewed my story that I submitted for workshop . It was met with mixed reviews. I am not surprised. I wrote it in three days. But all things are going well. At my current rate of progress I will be a millionare by this time next year. For now it is back to eating instant gravy on instant potatoes.

Christmas is nearly upon us! Fear his poison bite!

"......"

Satan lives inside me. Between my kidneys, next to my spine. He eats my spine cartilage. Listening to Stained. Stuff sucks.

Are you success?

"Now find 100cent!"
Why don't keyboards have a cent sing when they have a '$' sign? No-ine thinks in cents any more. Or with sense either for that matter.
Hah. Hah. Hah. Do you be feeling my brain laughter?
Today I was beaten by my Gradmother at squash. Five times. This comes off her last five win streak. In fact I have only beaten her about three times ever. She is sixty. Boy am I healthy.
Crumby, crumby muscles!
Tonight is my last night of cartoon network. Tommorow i go back to wellington, where I think the first thing I am going to do is buy a cask of wine. Drinking is fun. but before that there will be the bus trip. I hate busses. They are filled with people, and sometimes the people have babies. If they do not, the smell and are simply too close to me. They sit in the seat in frount of me and recline their seat as much as possible so that when the bus trip is over my legs are so numb that I fall over and the bums reident at the rail station steal my wallet and luggage. Then Jesus laughs at me.

Almost 7o'clock. I don't know what that means, but it better be good.

yup. looks like rain.

come back to sunny sunny waipuk, and it is raining. what happened to spring? It was hot and sunny and skin-crispy-fying a few days ago, and now it is just crap. And it's not even constant crap, either. It looks sunny and bright, even a bit o blue sky over to the left there so you take the dog for a walk and the god urinates on you.
This kind of weather would really piss me off (pun intended! oh hah hah ha!) if I had any need of the outside world. I do not.
Finished reading 'In my fathers den' last night. You know, that one by Maurice Gee. it was alright. I watched the movie. That was also alright. Apart from the fact that it was alegedly based on the book it had nothing to with it. Anyway. The books alright, but the ending sucks, the movies alright but what the fuck.
Aren't you glad you took time out of your day for that? I am.
Parentals come home today. hopefully they will then take me to the new harry potter movie.

And yes, I do think hermione is a bit of a dish.

Too lazy to focus my...seeing things

Yup. I just too lazy to unblur my vision.
I now have the house to myself! Also, to add to my general merryment, my mother gave me $20 for food for the next two days. That is usually enough money to last me a fourtnight!
So now I am filled with chips and pork flavored meat sticks. Once it sets, I will then eat the ice cream. ICE CREAM!! ICE CREAM!! couple this with a night of the brack show, and you have a comblination full of vein clogging inactivity.

Fear my pizza filled mouth words!

Small things...

...amuse my incredibly small mind. the thing is, when you think about it, the universe has more room for small things than big things, so the odds are in my favor.
Like the girl power sequel to 'He-man and the masters of the universe'.
It is called 'She-Ra'. She rides a unicorn.
I think this will keep me amuse for seconds. Countless, countless seconds.