Monday, February 27, 2006

This txt is for your love!

Saturday was an interesting night. As you know, avid readers of my blog, I was planning on going to a dress up party. For those of you who could not guess, I went as a pediophile. My costume was theirfore a trench coat, a hole-filled tee-shirt and a large head of a stuffed bear, which I used as a hat. Pockets filled with candy, myself and my two freinds went off to the party, each with a bottle of wine in us.

Warning: Do not leave alcohol around me. Ever. But especially when I am durnk. So don't leave alcohol around me ever.

At the party I consumed another bottle of red wine. My lips were, and still are, rather stained. You think wine stains are hard to get out of the carpet? You cannot put bleach in you mouth. Well, you can, but you die.
Anyway, I then entertained a few people with my briliant wit and stole a couple of bottles of beer, then played limbo and stole half a bottle of vodka. Then I went outside and got into a fight.
I now have a slightly brusied eye, a couple of scrapes and a bad knee, but as they say, you should have seen the other guy.
And witnesses tell me that the patch of concrete that I head-butted was taught a lesson it will not soon forget.
Anyway, then I stagered around a bit, finaly comming to rest at the top of Aro St at about 1am, where I coma'd. Luckilly for me, some kind hearted people weere passing and roused me enough to call me a taxi to take me home. I cannot imagine what I must have looked like. A man, in a trench coat and an inadequate tee-shirt, face covered in bloodlying in the gutter. Thanks guys. I would not have touched someone who looked like me with a pole.

You would think my adventure endith there. BUT NO! The is no reason in the mind of drunk Flan! After the Taxi driver dropped me off at my gate and I paid him, I then decided I was hungry and trouped off into the city to order myself a big mac and a big mac combo. They tasted good.
Then I decided to Txt people.
1.59am : I like you. My txt is for your love! :)!
2.07am : That might have seeming weird, but I think you understand.
2.10 : I am sorry.
I am sorry. dear god. Luckilly, my phone saves my outgoing messages so that when I woke up, on a bench on the plimmer steps, at 6am, I could text and apologise to the recipetent in question.

So all in all, It was a very satisfying end to my week long binge.
BINGE WEEK STATISTICS!
9 Jugs of tui
6 Pints of beer
3 bottles of wine
6 wiskey drys
1 absinthe shot
1/2 botlle of vodka
1 vodka matini
1 vodka lemonade
? bottles of stolen beer.
Fuck I enjoy life. And It all starts again this week! Well, perhaps not so much. But now, what you have been waiting for-

COURSE RELATED COSTS COUNTDOWN!
How much money do I have left?
$349
I think that could be worse, honestly.

1 comment:

J. Monkey said...

That's a fucking awesome post there dude.