People who look like my ex-girlfriend. Booze. Women. E-mails from my ex-girlfriend. A wall made completly out of beer cans. Ballroom dancing lessons. Nasal hair. All these things, and more, have happened to me since the last time I blogged. So much has happened , in fact, that it would be a very long post to recoount it all here. Just rest assured that none of it was phisically debilitating and there was only 8 hours sleep involved.
Instead, I shall recount to you the wisdom that I have gained from these experiances, in the hope that you shall be able to learn without the tourture.
FLAN'S GUIDE TO LIFE AND STUFF:
1) Try to advoid the 'friend zone'.
2) Too much cheese makes you constipated.
3) It is better to egg suckers than to suck eggs.
4) It is essential to spend more than three hours on your 3rd year english essays.
5) Your relationship with your ex is never over untill one of you die.
6) Don't work 9 and a half hour shifts ever.
Well, there we have it. Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows either. They will always screw you over.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You forgot one.
7) WHY DO I HAVE CANCER PLEASE KILL ME NOW.
Seriously though, I am dying. Of cancer. Well, I sneeze a lot, and have a sore back, so I assume it's what cancer feels like. It bloody well should be.
CACERN!!
Now that we are no longer the sprigtly young people that we used to be, we can now expect our bodies to start falling apart. I have a brain tumor and a bad back also. Honestly, they don't make bodies like they used to. My grandad can still beat me at squash and he had a triple bypass. I have a sneaking suspicion that SATAN has invaded the body parts manufacturing plant, also known as 'postie plus', and deliberatly lowered the quality of all new bodies so that we have to go out and buy replacement parts from him and his evill corporations. It's true. they do the same thing with cell phones.
Post a Comment