Science is great

So, on wednesday I went to the place where the doctors are kept. My doctor said: whats the problem? I said: My shoulders fucked. He poked my shoulder for a couple of minutes, drew on it with a pen, and then incected my with stuff. And now my shoulder is fine. You don't actually notice low grade, constant pain untill it isn't there anymore. Now I can bench press! If I ever felt the need.
Not a lot else has happened, however. last night I saw the last episode in the 'Full Metal Alchemist' seris. This was slightly unfortunate, becuase I only bought the first episodes about a week ago, I have not seen the whole seris and now have been left with a book ends kinda impression of it. But still, it was a good impression. The same theing happened with Evangellion, but if you saw the last three episodes of Eva before you saw anything else and had any fucking idea what was going on, you belong in MENSA. Full Metal Alchemist is slightly less complex, but the story line, or what I have seen of it, is very very good.

On an almost completly unrelated note, 'Gumdam Seed' gobbles the man penis.
"Dance like a pansy through the waves of Emo, Gundam!"
It makes me sick. In fact, it makes me so sick that I am going to have to rant about it. I know, you thought I was finished. i thought I was finished. But I am not. Because Gumdam sucks. No amount of lengthy scenes where two charaters stare at each other in what is obviously supposed to be a heartfelt manner is going to elicit any kind of audience response. And contary to popular belif, just being all 'oh, i don't know what to do about this war/ that girl/ my life/ oh im so fucked up' does not make you Shinji.

Although Shinji was a pretty pathetic case sometimes, he is nothing compared to the fucker from Gundam. I don't even know his name.

Hoodaddy!

well, I have been super productive. Yesterday I learn't three songs that I can now play on my guitar. And by my guitar, I mean my dad's guitar that I use when I come home. I can tell he hasn't been playing, because even though I have been away for a couple of months ,the damn thing is still mainly in tune. But does it ever need new strings. They are rusted cables of things. Back home in wellington, I have just reciently re-strung my acustic with low gauge strings (low guage means that the strings are thin), adn it feels like I am playing my eletric. unfortunately, it also means that it sounds like I am playing my electric. All nice and tinny.
But the point of this explanation is that my figers have gotten used to my tiny featherweight strings, and after a day of playing with huge, rusty cables, I feel like I have put my fingers into a meat grindrer. And because the strings are so old, it old sounds slightly better. In fact, I don't know if the strings have been changed on that guitar since Dad bought it. Perhaps I shall have to do so when I come home next time.

What the fuck is wrong with this space bar? It keeps putting the space in the wrong place.

Anyway, today I have a doctors appointment. I like comming home, because then I can get my parents to pay for essential stuff like finding out why I have the body of a learned and sexy, but very old, man. Seriously, My shoulder has been fucking killing me for a while now. I go to phisio, and it gets worse. so now I am going to go and see a real doctor. And my joints click. People can tell it's me because of my shoddy ankels. And my hip bothers me when it's going to rain. And since I live in wellington, it bothers me more or less constantly. And don't even get me started on my prostate.

Well, actually, it's fine. As far as I can tell. It just in hibernation. Thats all.

Anyway, off to watch cartoons, do some wrinting (I have to submit some poetry for a course when I get back to Welly) and play the finger crippling guitar again. Fun times! God ilove having things to eat all around me. I think I might have ice-cream for breakfast.

War! Huh! What is it good for?

Getting rid of waipuk, thats wha. Yes, I am back in my little hometown, with it's one street and not a hell of alot else. I am also awake at 8am. Why? Because in the silence of the Waipuk pre-dawn, my parents getting up for work make slightly less noise than a herd of elephants on some sort of narcotics.
Anyway, the 21st went well. Nothing much to report there, really. It was exactly like all of my friends had gotten together and hit the bottle, with slightly more regard for their personal apperance than usual. And the drinks were cheeper, too. $2 whiskey! I spent $30.
Today, on the other hand, I have not much too do. I am going to retrieve some files from the internet, do some writing, eat everything Ican find around the house, and probably end up playing a substancial amount of Pinball.

Dear god I'm sleeply. Bugger this 9 to 5 crap, working everyday would suck.

Our endless numbered days

Aha! A music reference (I hear one of my readers shout). But this post has nothing to do with Iorn. Or wine. Today I spent the day playing pool at my flatmate's boyfriends house, and I haven't done much else. Learnt that "heya" is japanesse for "room", and played some Diablo.
I like having holidays.
Tommorow I have another 21st to go to. It is at a bar, so I suppose I won't be able to bringa bottle of wine in with me. Unless it is in my stomach. One day bar owners will catch on and get the contents of peoples stomachs pumped as they check I.D., possibly, because this will be in the future, through a painless laser beam thingy. And when you try to leave the pub, they will take back their booze with another laser beam thingy, only this one will be painful so as to encourage you to stay longer and spend more money. They will be able to recycle the booze taken from your belly and sell it on to other bar flies at ridiculous prices, and going to the toilet will be forbidden. Or encouraged. Depends where you go.
Or perhaps it has already started. Theres alot we don't get told about, you know.

I had McDonalds for lunch today. And then I bought toast.

Shazam! And other owrds of glee.

It's all over. This morning I sucessfully sat my last exam for this trimester. It went well, considering the only study I did was this morning, and consisted of bookmarking the passages of my coursebook that I had read. It didn't take me long.
Then I went and got drunk. Then I went to sleep. Then I woke up and bought myself subway for dinner (EAT FLESH!) and a bottle of wine. Now I just plan to sit for a long time, perhaps watch some things on the TV, and sleep again.
But boy howdy, it feels better than a gay cowboy to have finished. Now I have two weeks of sweet whatever the hell I feel like. I shall learn some Japanese, play some guitar, read some books of my choosing and write some. I plan to go home to the Bay of Hawkes to live with my parents for a week, eat their food and watch their sky television.

All is panckaes. Not the McDonalds kind though. The real kind.

Coin op and everything!

It has been a long time since I have posted. And an unusual amount has happened also. All in one night, in fact. One 17hour night, to celebrate my mates twentyith birthday. This is what happened:

11am: Me mate called me up after his exam had finished, not the one having the birthday, lets call him 'D', to meet him a go to his place.
Noon: Went to the place, which is up a bloody mountain, and met my mate, whos birthday it was, lets call him 'Hobbs', and his parents. Hobbs parents had apparently decided that what Hobbs really, really needed for his twentyith birthday was a hangover, and since they are generous people, bought six bottles of wine, 24 bottles of tui, four bottles of expensive beer, and a bottle of Jim Beam so that the rest of us could all partake in the hangover also. Good poeple. I wish my parents would get me hangovers every now and then. This present of near unlimited booze kinda overshadowed the present that myself and D had gotten Hobbs: A $30 Wharehouse voucher.
Noon - 4pm: This time was spent with a three way poker tournament between myself, 'D' and Hobbs, in the only way we knew: Drunk and listning to Queens of the Stone Age.
5pm: Went to the local bar 'B4', where we meet up with friends, played pool and finished off the keg of 'Hogg Gold', a beer that retails at $2 a handle. Well, it did. We finished it off. Then we drank $3 speights. Needless to say that when we left an hour and a half later, our games of pool were a lot less impressive than they had been.
6:30-ish-pm: Went to a BYO restruant with our 6 bottles of wine to share between 8 of us, and had a good, loud, indan meal. I am quite certain that the restruant was happy to be rid of us.

Now, up until this point, the night had been civil and not anything at all like what I was expecting. Of course, my friends never dissapoint me, especially after they have been drinking for 6 hours, and things started to get more interesting from here on in.

8pm: Went to a a friends flat, lets call her 'Sunny', and proceeded to make Sunny's party much more interesting. The 8 of us procured about five more bottle of wine and drank as I tried to organize a game of wink murder, as Hobbs completly failed to do a handstand and another of our friends decided to start tackeling pretty much everyone. After a few hours a consensus was reached: We would now go and infultrate another party. So the 8 of us hit the road, now with Sunny and a few extra friends in tow.
11pm: About twelve of us turn up to this unassuming party, we had lost a couple of pikers along the way, and proceeded to be loud and apparently very muddy as we took the party by storm and ate all the party food that we could. It has been the first, and hopefully only, private house party that I have been kicked out of. Well, we were all kicked out. There was basically a blanket edict of eviction issued against us all.
Midnight: Are we ready to stop the party yet? Disheartened by our rejection? NO! We wen't looking for more rejection, and so of course headded for the Kumera, where once again I seemed to have the plauge. How can everyone tell this? More people ran away home, and after a while and a few drinks, the remaning six of us went out to find more action.
3pm: Went to a bar called 'Vespa', where the popular reply to any pick up line is 'I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that.'
3:30: More people left our happy gang, but myself, Hobb, D and Sunny were going strong. We went to 'The Brewry" to annoy a flatmate we knew, then went to Espressaholic for coffee. But still there was no sobriety to be found. D and Sunny decided to go home. That left myself and Hobbs, who decided to have another crack at the Kumera.
4pm: The Kumera still sucks. We leave, and almost immediately my luck improves. I have a few more drinks and a very nice talk with an attractive lady. The moment was slightly marred by the fact that I had just paid her to take her clotes off. Yup, once again me and my mate Hobbs rounded off a night of near constant denial with a trip to Mermaids.
7am: Got home for six hours of sleep. D came home after spending the night at Sunnys where nothing happened at 10am, and all three of us watched Tv until the next day.

Good times indeed.

On thursday I have an Exam. This has been very effective procrastination to studying,.

Another day in bed

Thank you mrs boss person, for having the foresight to realize what I myself did not. That, the day after my exam, you might as well not roster me on to work because I would be too hungover to stand. And it's true. Im in bed. With a head that feels like the state of texas.
Why didn't I realze this? Everyone else knew I would be fucked today. My boss, my friends, that crazy guy on the corner who talks constantly and donesnt have a belt, yes, even he knew. It has become such a pridictable occurance of late that you would think that I, of all people, would have learnt by now the simple equation: Flan+Beer+More Beer+2 Bottles Wine+Pack of Cigarettes=One Great Big Hangover.
I went into town last night, with a couple of friends, to a special little establishment known as 'The Big Kumera'. The 'kurmera' is widely known to be the last stop on the way home, but also because of its location, it often becomes the first stop as well. And the only stop. Some people just dont leave the kumera. And most of them are first years.
But this was a perfect place for me to initiate my mission. A Mission I like to call Operation Get Women.
It didn't work to well.
For thoseof you who haven't been reading this so often, or at all, let me tell you all that my life is very void of the opposite sex. Or any sex, in fact. No sex all round. But last night, filled with booze and a few tips from my friends, I went out, put myself on the line, put myself on the dancefloor and watched as an expanding ring appeared, filled with lack of people.
A few replies I got when asking people to dance:
"No sorry, we're lisbians"
"I just have to go over there now"
"No"
"Im not gay"
"FIVE FEET AT ALL TIMES! MY BODY IS MY OWN!"
"Argh! ARGH!" *Smashes glass of red bull vodka and tries to slash own wrists on the fragments of glass embeded in own forehead*
Well, Not that last one. But honestly, I might as well have had the plauge. The Black plauge. Of death.
I got home at 3am, and really, I can think of better things I could have done with my night.

Oh yeah, and my exam went well.

Wack-a-fol.

Tommorow I have my first exam for this trimester. I am ready, I am physed. I just want the damn thing over so I cn go drinking. And I will. It is a morning exam, which means it finishes at 12:30, just in time for the bars to open. And since it is wednesday, I will have money. Yes, the planets are indeed aligned for a mighty big piss up.

Proably wont be sober till friday, so dont expect posts before then.

would you look at that...

A week since I have last posted. Wow. All the things that have not happened. Notably study for my exam on wednesday. And the things that have happened, mostly drunken procrastination.
Many people get all worked up at exam time. I do the opposite. I suddenly get so relaxed that I do not feel the need to perform anything except the most menial tasks, such as my washing, cleaning my room, re-stringing my guitars, unpdating and defragmenting my computer, typing out stories that I have hd in my head for months, shopping and other things. I have done some revision for my test, and I feel pretty good about it.
So why doesn't my body?
I am going through all the classic signs of stress: sleep deprivation, drowzyness, mouth ulcers and, last night, I developed a bloody big sty in my eye that is more painful than buggery.
I imagine.
But honestly, this thing is huge. If you are squemish, you may want to not read what is in the brackets [but I moment ago I spent a good five minutes squeezing the pus out of it].
I have had stys before, and have found that this is really the only couse of action to take, otherwise the hurt like buggery (I imagine) and then burst anyway.
So basically, I just wnt these exams to be over. I am sure I am not going to fail my papers, so why wont they just hurry up? Then my body will get back to normal.

God damn you god, and your invention of eye sores.

Me good ole ticky boo hey?

Heyzus Al'mi, ya Godam SoanBtch!
Thats what I said this weekend. Alot. This weekend has been filled with booze, town, parties, piza and other assorted mania. Alot of pool was played, but unfortunately, alot of booze was consumed at the same time, so the pool was of a mediocre standard at best. But stil fun.
It turned out, however, that the invitation by my friends to go to their place and drink and fun was simply a RUSE. A big ole ruse aimed at getting me to the flat so they could film me again, because apparently we haddn't quite finished last time. So that was the second night of the weekend I spent away from my bed. The day after I was hung over like royalty. And then last night I went to my other friends house to eat pizza and watch a movie called 'Wolf Creek'. Very much in the style of 'Saw' and all that crap. It's ok if you have nothing else to do. I don't.

Well, I have just finised tyding and rearranging my room. Now I have a desk to put my laptop on. The rest of the day is going to be dedicated to learning japanesse or writing. Or both. Fun.

Suits

I like wearing suits. Today i am wearing one with a green shirt, a blue vest and a red tie. And a hat. I also like hats.
You know, if I don't get the job of my dreams, being a coffee fuled english lecteror or a coffee fuled writer, then I want to be a coffee fuled op-shop owning, shomwheer in the suburbs of wellington, sitting in a threadbare lay-z-boy all day and listning to obscure music no one has heard of. If a customer guesses the band and song I am listning too, I shall give them a free pair of fingerless gloves. My op-shop will be called 'OP-SHOP: THE RECKONING', and I will close everyday at 7pm and go drinkning at my local bar where no one else drinks, and the bar staff will take pity on the bearded man they think is homeless and engage in pity conversations with me.
I aim high with my dreams.
Well, is it obvious that I have nothing to do for another 20minutes? I have a physio appointment where I am going to get the muscle knot in my shoulder massaged out. It will be mice when I am able to use my left arm to carry anything heavyer than a loaf of bread again. Honestly, I carried a loaf of bread AND a packet of gingernuts home from the supermarket a few days ago and my shoulder cramped up somthing cronic. It's a pain. Although I don't really use my left arm for anything ecept guitar and groceries, what would happen if my right arm was suddenly severed from my body by a ninja? I would be hopeless. I would have to quit my job and confine myself to my house, opening the doors between my room and the toilet with my feet and operating light switches with my mouth.
well, apart from thouse valuable insights into plausible futures, there is not much to say. I go out after my physio appointment to play pool and watch movies, then hike off to brooklin and do what I do pretty much every weekend. Drunken handstands. the thing about drunken handstans is that they are much easier than sboer handstands. you would expect booze t oafect your arm strength and balance in painful ways when attempting handstands, but the last time I attempted them sober I almost broke my neck and then wacked my testies. But there are just some things you have to do in the name of fun. Sometimes you just have to take one for the team.

In the scrotum.

BIRNG IT ON!!

Oh yeah, just finished the second of the two assignments that are due in tommorow. It only took my four hours. And I took a half hour break so's I could watch 'futurama'. Apparently 'Familly Guy' has finished for now. Damn. But i still like Futurama ok, so I don't care that much. It's not like they stopped midway through a season of 'Scrubs' or anything.
Anyway, back to gloating. I am an asignment God. Fuck all that studying crap. Who needs it? But don't get me wrong. The essay is shit. Pure, unadulterated bollocks, poured onto a page, un-proof-read, fraught with spelling mistakes and bogus arguments shrouded loosely by a flowery writing style. But I'll pass, and thats all I really care about.
So tommorow. Go to work, go to physio, print of the assignments at uni, hand them in, go to Brooklin, drink two bottles of wine, do some handstands, wake up on the roof. When I sober up I plan to spend the weekend tidying and rearranging my room and washing, playing guitar, learning some japanesse, and perhaps even putting some of my writings onto this new computer of mine. It's been a little while, and when you have something like an assignment to do, the little, menial tasks seem so much more appealing. And they are. Because if you clean your room, you end up with a nice room which doesn't smell like hobo. If you do a good essay, all you get is a grade. And what can you use grades for? Building a successful future? Pah!

What to do now.... dinner time again, I suppose. I thinks I'll have Tuna-Rice with Instant Potatoes and Cheese Sauce. Or as I like to call it, TRIP.CS
It sounds better than it tastes.