Tiny, tiny hands.

I have a new cousin. Today I went with my parents to see my aunty who has just given birth to a baby boy, yet to be named. I discovered that babies are small. Really really small. So small, in fact, you cannot really beleive that you were once a baby. I mean, look at their hands! So small, with little mini fingernails. My hands are huge. Gigantic. And you know what they say about people with big hands. Yup. But anyway, I never thought of hands growning so much. Same as fingernails. I thought they were just there. Growing is a strange business.
The other strange thing about babies is how they affect people. Men, they come in, they look at the baby, that say something like "It's small", and then they retreat into the nearest corner, taking solace in talking about things like the weather and work. Women, on the other hand, will croon over the baby until it hiccups, and then use that hiccup as a pretext for picking up the tiny human: "Oh, look, he's crying!", and then spend the rest of the time going into details about the birthing process, and other things, like breast feeding.

I am a firm believer that there are things that Man was not meant to know. One of those things is birth. I am sorry to whoever is fated to marry me, but while you are doing the painfull pushing, I will proably be in the nearest toilet doing the retch and heave. But women seem to have no problem with talking about contractions and passing things the size of watermelons out of their vaginas. No. They could talk about it untill the cows come home.

I guess you just had to be there.